Ever since my mother started giving me stacks of paper and crayons to play with on the floor, she encouraged me to express my natural ability to make pretty pictures.
In 2010, Mom witnessed my graduation from art school, but in 2012 she was diagnosed with a rare liquid cancer that abruptly killed her, leaving my 6 siblings and I with $20,000, each of her humble estate.
I vowed to focus all my attention on being a success with the artistic gifts my mother delivered me into this world with.
So in the summer of 2014, I set out on a very narrow path of ignoring any kind of work I didn’t enjoy and obsessed over getting strangers to buy my art, on the premise that they had an idea I could bring to life.
I’ve never traveled to a desert, but in the winter of 2016, I sat on the floor of my dream-come-true, downtown Kansas City apartment and felt more thirsty than ever before.
A dim light shined on my dusty half-finished paintings, and a depression settled into my gut.
I saw the moon looking back down at me, and felt slightly relieved by her sad, pale face magnifying my situation like a cosmic joke.
Even though I dedicated 2 years to selling my art, drawing portraits for strangers on the street, offering sketches to facebook friends in exchange for a donation, and using the quickest and most effective sales techniques I could find to make anyone say yes, I still ended up broke, burnt-out and nauseated at the thought that I would have to get a job or become homeless.
Crouched on the floor, I cried silently, “Here I am living out the cliche of another starving artist”.
And even though I would sell a piece of art occasionally, I kept ending up with my last dollar of food stamps and credit cards, scrounging up a bit of rice to eat, and feeling ashamed that my roommate was now paying most of the bills.
As the days rolled on and my energy to sell art eroded into a desperate hope for a miracle, my older brother eventually found out about my situation and gave me a call and a good talking to, that was the proverbial kick in the ass I needed to snap out of my delusion of how I wanted my life to be and face reality:
Unless I wanted to start living on the cold January streets of Kansas City, I would need to acquire a steady income.
I felt the sadness of my ideals rotting away but a surprising sense of possibility arising in my heart, that I could face the inconvenience of getting a job and still love myself.
So the following day, I took a brisk stroll in one of the popular neighborhoods of KC that I wanted to explore and just followed my gut to what felt like the easiest job I could do, which instantly guided me to step into a pizzeria that just opened next to the hottest gay club in town, and as I walked in, the owner was standing right there, we introducing ourselves, I filled out an application, and was hired the next day, spending the next 2 years churning out pizzas for the late-night LGBT scene and all the freaks of midtown KC.
Despite the filthy reality of kitchen life and the production of piles of “comfort food” for the bottomless appetite of bar crowds, I felt grateful for my new sense of security, as I could now spend my free time developing my art, without the pressure of survival looming over it.
Getting a job brought me back down to earth.
Though I’ve held several jobs in the past, I now knew I had much to learn in becoming an artist who responds to a world where most people struggle to survive.
The shallowness of my half-baked purpose in the world felt like a paper dam torn by the reality of life rushing in to take me with it.
I wanted to accept the grittiness of the world and love it with all my strength, so that I could discover a more practical purpose for my art that would propel me into a more fulfilling and meaningful life.
Creating a more beautiful world always called to me on a deep level, so when I set out to spend all my free time meditating on how the hell I would actually go about doing that in practical terms, I struck gold with a three-word-phrase that would become the slogan for my mission and brand…
CREATING HEAVENLY EARTH
For weeks, my new slogan opened up new horizons of clarity and inspiration on what kind of art I wanted to share with my people.
My ideas and visions turned into a hundred sketches that were glimpses into the style and world I wanted to convey, but the inspiration quickly started to slow down, and I felt myself getting stuck with more questions than answers about my new calling as an artist.
I spent 2 more years working a J.O.B. (journey of the Broke), and countless hours obsessing over techniques and business training, trying to develop a strategy to share the message of creating heavenly earth that really resonated with me, but feeling empty-handed at days end.
Why did I not have clarity and feel excited about my calling in the world?
After working grueling, late-night hours and waking up in the afternoon, I would obsess over why I had acquired mountains of information on how to market myself, and why I felt so much potential burning inside me, but yet unable to access it and express it in a way that felt natural to my soul.
On my 33rd birthday of May 2019, a deeper depression creeped into my body and a question burned in my mind, “What’s it going to take to feel fulfilled and satisfied in my fucking life?”
Scrolling through the internet trying to find anything to lighten me up filled most of my free time.
A deep sadness pulled me into becoming more still in my self.
And then, as I watched one of my favorite youtubers, his words pierced right into to the core of my situation, as I heard him mention very specific phrases, which included “steps to Knowledge”, “The New Message from God”, and “Allies of Humanity.”
I immediately googled the phrases and started reading, when a sense of revelation washed over me, and a slight hesitation to accept that I just found a vast library of information revealing who I am, why I’m here, and the work I must start doing to fulfill my purpose in the world.
I can’t believe I found this information, but it resonates so deeply, that I haven’t wasted any time in dedicating all my focus on the path that reveals itself through my new relationship with God.
Having grown up in the Bible Belt of the United States with poor religious parents, I never felt comfortable telling people that I have a relationship with God.
But now I say, fuck religion and the opinions of others, the purpose God has gave me to fulfill in the world is too important to waste time on belief systems.
I came here to work.
God sent me to Create Heavenly Earth.
In order to answer my calling, I have taken on the role of the Art Sorcerer.
I make art that speaks to your soul, so you feel inpsired to be who you are and have a tool that enhances the unique work God sent you here to do.
If we unite our God-given abilities in order to empower each other to do our work, we can not only survive the great challenges facing Earth, but prepare ourselves to deal with alien visitors who are taking advantage of our rare planet and do not support our emergence into the greater community of the universe, as a free and respected human race.
Therefore you see the importance of my calling to Create Heavenly Earth, that we were born at this time to share a purpose for the world beyond our wildest dreams.
ARE YOU SEARCHING FOR ART THAT EXPRESSES YOUR DEEPER PURPOSE?
In 2015 during my constant soul-searching, I came across a magical system that continues to help me live from my own inner authority, and it is literally a map of the mechanics of our world.
That magical system is called Human Design, which arrived on the planet as a revelation to a mad man living off the coast of Spain in 1987.
That man changed his name to Ra Uru Hu and became the messenger of Human Design until his death in 2011, leaving behind the legacy of a thriving community of like-minds discovering who and what we truly are.
My Human Design Bodygraph:
And Here's an offshoot of Human Design called, Gene Keys created by Richard Rudd
My Hologenetic Profile